sunday.. 08.11.09

just dunnoe y..

just need to know y...

just dunnoe y today my mind seems to tink bout my current status..

was on the bus to kovan..

this question just popped out..

n i just wanna share with u all..

5 reasons why zazziezannah is not in a relationship and is currently still single..

1) she's afraid of guys but dont ask her y

2) she wanna achieve her dreams (getting bike license and ride a bike coz she noes that it'll b impossible if she's in a relationship...)

3) is not ready for a relationship

4) she's more to the family orientated..

5) the news about the bad side of guys posted in the newspaper are kinda adding to the scare..

hahhaa..

i noe its kinda stupid..

but what to do..

its my life..

change mie if u can.. but dun force..

coz she HATES force..

okies..

there's another thing to share..

ok i went out with bro on wednesday to compass point

just walk around and window shop

then, bout 8 plus..

decided to go home... tired sia..

then passed by the DMK shoe shop

saw a damn nice new arrival high heel pump..

but that was not all that i saw..

i saw someone... that guy fren to be exact..

he was staring at me and bro..

then just now, he asked mie..

where did i go on wed...

" cp...y?"

" with who did u go with?"

"bro.. i swear"

hmm... wads wrong with going out with bro..

i noe we looked like a couple coz we're damn close and hold hands when we walked sometimes..

haiz..

why are u jealous whereas we are JUST FRIENDS..

when u asked, u sounded different.. like u noe..

hhaha..

people this days..

jump to conclusion easily..

kz all...

enjoy the last few hours of weekend..

take care folks..

>>zazziezannah<<

thursday.. 05.11.09

a no school day..
coz only 2 modules today n both lecturers went for course..
so stay at home..
looked out of the window n the clouds just love to let it rain..
its been raining for a few days since..
brother went to facilitate camp..
so lonely at home..
feel worried for him..
coz its like raining so damn heavily..
not cats n dogs anymore..
it looks like all animals at one time..
gosh.. dad went for work.. n he's riding motorbike...
URGH!!

worry worry worry worry worry worry worry worry worry

friday.. 30.10.09

Life have been busy for me..
Assignments have been flowing in like water..
This is the life being in a poly..
Which is so expected..
In the end, we'll still be having common tests and exams..
Kinda unfair but its the reality..

My feelings..
Have been having the ups and downs..
But i think i may not have shown it..

I just don't know why I've been having this "I need you" feeling..
However, I know that certain people that I dream of spending the time with, does not have this feeling towards me..
Hahahas..
Reality..
My life have been filled with dreams and fantasies of being with the one i would like to be with..
Love songs just want to make me cry sometimes..
Cause i just remembered that you don't need me anymore..

... the dreamer ...
zazziezannah

thursday... 221009

hmms..

4 days since school started..

kinda miss holiday..

wish to have longer holiday..

timetable..hmms dont like it except for thursday and friday

hmm.. Z.A.F.A .. haha kinda miss the times when we spent the 1 whole year together..

now only the Z and F are in the same class.. the As had separated..

but still meet for lunch sometimes..

hmms..

ok.. just wanna pour out my feelings today..

just dunnoe y this feeling keep coming and haunting my heart and mind..

had tried forgetting the times we spent together but i came back again, begging mie not to throw it away like i wish i could..

now its making mie confused over what i am feeling for this particular person..

i noe that we are in two different worlds..

urgh..!!

just wish that i could do some brain wash and forget all the times when i helped u, talked to u...

i noe that i'm the type who is hard to be approached.. but plz dun blame mie..

and i m neither blaming u..

coz it's just my nature.. just dunnoe y..

tink i just dunt feel comfortable when talking to peeps...

urgh..!!

oh God, plz give mie the confidence and courage to talk to other humans..

i m no different from them.. they are humans too and so i m..

why m i being so afraid of humans..??

urgh..!!

haiz..

just dunnoe what to say about myself.. its just my nature and i need to change it before stepping into the world of career..

coz my career needs my mouth..

haha..

kz..

will blog again soon..!!

hehehes..

= zazziezannah =

saturdae.. 08.08.09

my life have been in a confused state again..

i tink ive been quite out of my mind these few days..

juz dunnoe wads happening..

there's so many reasons that make mie myself confuse..

the results that i got in term 1.. its juz sooo not mie.. i juz dunnoe y..

the things that happen in my life..

the feelings that i got towards people around mie.. juz feel useless n being used..

hmm...

i've been quite down these few days..

juz feel terribly terrible n juz tinking on how i'll die..

i juz need the answer..

these thoughts juz wont go away..

so many scenes juz pop out of my head..

hmm.. if i jot it down, it wont b a secret within myself any more.. so i wont n plz dun ask mie to tell u..

its a conflict between myself..

hmm... tink i juz feel lyk not jotting down in here anymore..

may do it wen im more free n happier..rather than jotting down all the wrong stuff..

= the unhappy=
zazziezannah

friday.. 24.07.09

life is something that is kinda unpredictable.

1 moment u're extremely happy, another moment u feel like killing urself..

hmms..

i do have that feeling too..

hmms.. 

coz sometimes a confidante may not be a perfect confidante..

it applies to me too..

i'm short-tempered..

have kinda bad mood swings somtimes...

feel like purposely jay walking in front of a speeding car n then, the next moment.. I'M DEAD!!

hmms... 

juz dunnoe y..

wen im happy oso im not extremely happy..

im happy only wen im being attached to myself.. n not wif other people ard..

im happy wif talking to myself.. 

im happy wif talking to the mirror...

n lastly, im happy wif talking to my 3 stuff toys that's on my bed..

i juz feel that people r juz using mie in wadever they wanna do...

including my parents n bro...

hmms... 

i dun have someone who can really be my real confidante right now..

i juz need someone who can really understand mie n give mie advices that i can try to carry out.. 

hmms.. 

but the main point is, i would like someone who would love mie fer who i am.. someone who is of the opposite gender.. 

i juz feel that im kinda ready to be accepting love..

but before that, i need to try to control my short-temperness.. 

hmmss...

i dun need advices fer this.. i can try to do it myself... 

going off, 

zazziezannah.. 

wednesdae.. 24.06.09

a wednesdae..

the 2nd wednesdae that i get to spend fully before i stomp my feet to the hospital..

hmm..

haha..

juz dunnoe y the heck m i doing in nursing.. especially wen exposing myself to the current H1N1..

was called by sum1 from school juz now coz i declared in the form that i'll be going to malaysia...

but in the end, nvr go..

so will be going fer attachment next week ah..

the nice ting will be my last dae will b a morning shift..

so after hospital will be compass point...window shopping...

hahahaha...

or may b vivocity..

1 stop awae..

ahhaha..

yeah yeah...

so long since i get a proper shopping treatment..

shall ask my gurlfrens..

yeah yeah..

kinda happy... but kinda lazy

i hate the 430 wake up time.

URGH!!!

if only i can teleport to the hospital...

ahhaaha...

kz...

going now..

bubbyes for my sweets..

xoxo