i dont know why..

yes, i know..

i've been a hypocrite..

i've told stories of u to another friend..

n i've told stories about the other friend to you..

but i need someone to tell my heart feelings to without hurting the other party's feelings..

n btw, i dont understand y u must tell that other party whom i dont like about what have been happening to us..

i've nicely apologize to u and yet u dint even take the initiative to just reply that particular message..

i know u dont need mie anymore.. like there used to be the times..

but just tell mie through the message that u dont need mie anymore..

i like it when we're apart.. i dont need u even..

i'd rather pour everything into my diary..

at least it wont spill to humans..

well...

u've build up this hate feeling that i have towards the both of u..

n i know i'm not sorry about this..

u're just the same..

u pour what had happened to someone which particularly be on ur side..

i think soon enough, i'll quit..

i've been making the wrong friends since i was in primary school.

it's like a curse..

i dont understand..

and poly is the place that i really made the biggest mistake..

to be friends with people like u..

who envy people's life..

the last day before..

hmm..

the last day before i stomp my feet on the hospital's floors..

and cause disaster..

man... heavy heart

new environment.. new stuff-to-do...

new bunch of people.. new expectations..

almost evryting is new.. its just the same old mie..

whenever its time for attachment, my heart will olwaes b damn heavy..

heavy to leave the holidays... having fun on my own..

do my own stuff.. though i was staying at home all time..

man.. please.. someone please tell mie that attachment's gonna b fun...

as in fun means that no one ignores the students.. students are treated well...

sometimes, wen i go for attachment..

i wonder.. y SOME people just seems to 'not like' the presence of students..

whereas they were once students..

its not as if when they were born, they were trained by their parents to be a nurse and when its time to get a job, they go for an interview and straight away, they get the job..

one step at a time.. as goes the song..

i tink that the world is really full of politics..

what ever u do, wherever u go, whoever u mix with..

its all the same.

hmms..

k babes.. going now..

will update tomorrow if possible on how my first day goes..

ciaos..

xoxo

the lover,

zazziezannah

wednesday.. 09.12.09

hmms...

nothing much happen today..

seems to be dreaming of being attached..

hahahas..

seems to be feeling kinda lonely..

coz im not the type where evrywhere and anywhere i go got frens..

im the type who can stay at home for 24/7

hahahs.. confession made

haha..

had a splitting headache on the right side which lasted for like olmost an hour..

hmms... had it for a few times since..

but decided to keep quiet bout it...

hmms..

k lah..

going now..

>>zazziezannah<<

tuesday.. 08.12.09

hmms

having holiday rite now..

2 weeks only...

urgh..!! idiot..

just want a longer holiday..

hahah... being greedy bout holiday..

whatever..

been in the mood for love or dates..

just dunnoe y... think i've been too lonely for a long time..

super long to be exact.. 18 years of living..

other people.. must have been changing a lot of partners..

just dunnoe y... tink i'm too shy ard peeps...

hahahs..

tink need to open up my mind ardy but it's olwaes the same..

hhahah.. met dr. love.. she has a lot of experiences..

hahahah.. getting closer to her i think..

been reading girl guides online too..

just to give me the brief idea bout wad life is when u're attached with someone..

hahaha.. just wish that this loneliness will be killed one day..

but i noe it may take a super damn long..

hmmm..

kz peeps.... until here i'm gonna pour out my feelings..

>>zazziezannah<<

wednesday.. 02.12.09

wednesday..

the week i'm having common test.. term test.. some sort like that

n having this flu at the same time..

making my eyes very very damn heavy..

which means that i need to sleep

but study is my priority

sleep later..

but the books are making my eyes heavier..

haiz..

but y flu??? y now??

urgh..!!!

help mie...!!!!!!

sunday.. 08.11.09

just dunnoe y..

just need to know y...

just dunnoe y today my mind seems to tink bout my current status..

was on the bus to kovan..

this question just popped out..

n i just wanna share with u all..

5 reasons why zazziezannah is not in a relationship and is currently still single..

1) she's afraid of guys but dont ask her y

2) she wanna achieve her dreams (getting bike license and ride a bike coz she noes that it'll b impossible if she's in a relationship...)

3) is not ready for a relationship

4) she's more to the family orientated..

5) the news about the bad side of guys posted in the newspaper are kinda adding to the scare..

hahhaa..

i noe its kinda stupid..

but what to do..

its my life..

change mie if u can.. but dun force..

coz she HATES force..

okies..

there's another thing to share..

ok i went out with bro on wednesday to compass point

just walk around and window shop

then, bout 8 plus..

decided to go home... tired sia..

then passed by the DMK shoe shop

saw a damn nice new arrival high heel pump..

but that was not all that i saw..

i saw someone... that guy fren to be exact..

he was staring at me and bro..

then just now, he asked mie..

where did i go on wed...

" cp...y?"

" with who did u go with?"

"bro.. i swear"

hmm... wads wrong with going out with bro..

i noe we looked like a couple coz we're damn close and hold hands when we walked sometimes..

haiz..

why are u jealous whereas we are JUST FRIENDS..

when u asked, u sounded different.. like u noe..

hhaha..

people this days..

jump to conclusion easily..

kz all...

enjoy the last few hours of weekend..

take care folks..

>>zazziezannah<<

thursday.. 05.11.09

a no school day..
coz only 2 modules today n both lecturers went for course..
so stay at home..
looked out of the window n the clouds just love to let it rain..
its been raining for a few days since..
brother went to facilitate camp..
so lonely at home..
feel worried for him..
coz its like raining so damn heavily..
not cats n dogs anymore..
it looks like all animals at one time..
gosh.. dad went for work.. n he's riding motorbike...
URGH!!

worry worry worry worry worry worry worry worry worry